you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
