very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we're making bets on your personal life
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
