idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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