the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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