ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
