I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
