why didn't you poke me back
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
