it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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