the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
A bitchslap is in order.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
