I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
