HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
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