i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
