I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
