After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
