I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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