Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he puts the penis in happiness.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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