I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
