Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
