I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
