I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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