It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
