We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
