i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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