38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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