I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
