So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
