I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
