i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
