Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
lets start a swedish sibling band together
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
