she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
