It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
