you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
