I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
