Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
