Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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