Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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