goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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