her vagine was all disorganized.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i believe in u and ur pee
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
