I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I still have a little drunk in my system
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
