All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Less talking, more tequila
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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