I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
