Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
