Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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