I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
