would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
