if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
