maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
