why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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