i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
