Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
